Delta Exclusive!!

Thanks to a Cheese insider (and you know who you are!) we can give you the first ever glimpse (maybe) of the cover for Delta's new single "Innocent Eyes".
The only thing that could make this better is if My Bestest Popstar Friend agreed to release "My Big Mistake" as a single.
And have Blair in it.
And me.
As her new love interest.
I know, it's a bit too close to the truth, isn't it?
Never mind.

M vs Em

I for one am loving the fight between Mariah Carey and Eminem. It seems that during their brief 'relationship' early last year, Em kept some strange answering machine messages that Maz left him (and, Hell, we've all had them, haven't we lambs?) and is rumoured to be wanting to use them in a new song. The pair have already written songs about each other, with Em recording "Superman" (and, just in case we didn't know who it was about, actually says her name) and Mariah "Clown". Now Mariah has hinted she has a big secret about Mr Mathers that she will share if he keeps pushing her. Ooooh juicy!
"I don't know what the Hell he's doing," said Maz, who is about to embark on a world tour. "It's a little excessive. Doesn't it seem a little bit girly? Like we're in a catfight?"
The tapes are said to be "weird and graphic" and feature MC talking in "a baby voice." Something she finds hilarious.
"Graphic?" she laughed from her catamaran in the Caribbean (seriously). "I'm like Mary Poppins when it comes to that type of thing... I'm a jokester. I have little voices. I do little things like that that are fun and games. If somebody has nothing better to do than sit around listening to old phone messages, I'm a little concerned about that."
"Let him do whatever the Hell he wants. If that makes him happy, yay for him. All I know is, we all have a lot of messages, don't we? And we all should remember that."
Whatever could that mean?

Yay for Kylie Mole day!
If you're cool like me, you used to be a hug fan of Kylie Mole on The Comedy Company (and later in Kittson/Fahey when it all went a bit pear shaped and she was pregnant and working in a bakery). I have her single "So Excellent" - and it is! (Let's not forget the ace b-side "She Goes, She Goes, She Goes")
Anyway, the only thing that was better than Kylie in 1988, was the other Kylie, and when KM met KM on The Comedy Company, well let's just say I totally wet my pants.

Yay!


Jacko Wacko for Tacos
I just read an hilarious story about Michael Jackson. Apparently he was visting Solvang, a Danish-style town in Southern California (I've been there, it's very nice), when, wearing a red-and-blue Spider-Man mask, he burst into the office of a congressman and asked, "How come Solvang doesn't have any fast-food restaurants?"
The congressman told him the only chain they had was Subway, to which MJ replied; "I love Taco Bell."
Hey, me too!
You know, I sometimes get the feeling that if MJ wasn't such a giant freakoid, we could have been friends. You know, like if he was somebody else entirely but had recorded "Thriller" and liked Taco Bell.

Meanwhile, this was his hairdo at a 70th birthday party for a restaurant tycoon pal of his. Hmmm, like the hair, but do you know what would go even better with that? YOUR OLD FACE!

Shameful secret #1
I like Bec Cartwright's new song "On The Borderline". It's '80s fun and catchy. The only problem is her extreme lack of singing ability and shockin' video.

Shameful secret #2
"I say so what I'm drunk/It's the freakin' weekend/etc"
I'm sorry but I love R Kelly's "Ignition (Remix)". It's ace. But I think R Kelly is a very dodgy little man, so I didn't feel at all guilty downloading it. So neither should you. Hey, you might go to Hell if you pay for it, think about that!
Actually, it's not the first R Kelly file I've downloaded. But it is the first song. (Bad joke, sorry)

Song of the day
"Wait" by Gyan. (Remember?!)

Dear Kids ...
I had an awesome update for today, but my freakin' picture server isn't working (AGAIN). I will work on it and get back to y'all. (I might also sue).

More Rove goodness
While I'm loving Rove, I have to say I was so happy with him when he interviewed Big Brother prick Carlo and he didn't back down on his hate. Thank God he took him up on the disgusting way he talks about women (or "bitches" as Carlo would say). The only thing that could have made it better was if Rove mentioned how Carlo has clamidia and was semi-bragging about the amount of "chicks" he's probably given it to. Because giving people STDs that may render them sterile is HILARIOUS. Thank God for the night time live feed, because they don't show that kind of stuff on Uncut.
He also hates Ben (don't we all?) and I hope he KILLS him when he's on.
Also: just want to point out that I hated Ben and Carlo on Day One. My friends, I hate braggers, but I am such a good judge of character. Actually, that's totally true, even my friends tell me that.

The Matrix Unloaded

On Saturday I went to see The Matrix Reloaded. I knew straight away that this movie was going to be a huge hit, because at the 7pm Saturday opening weekend session there were 40 people in the cinema.
I thought The Matrix was alright. I mean, it was the best sci-fi movie of recent memory, but I hated when people were like; "It's just such a smart movie and has totally changed the way I think!" And I was like; "Did we see the same movie? The one with KEANU REEVES in it?". "It has so many levels to it, blah, blah", "The one with CARRIE-ANNE MOSS from MODELS INC?". Hey, do you suppose that Keanu picks movies he doesn't understand in the hope it makes him look smart? (Think Chain Reaction, Much Ado About Nothing).
The Matrix Reloaded and the forthcoming sequel The Matrix Revolutions were originally a single filum, but when the script was too long, they split it into two. Unfortunately, you can tell. The film is almost without a storyline, and is padded out with elongated fight scenes that progress from technically impressive to show-offy. There's also a bizarre rave-like thing held in the 'temple', which seems to have been stuck in the middle of the filum for no apparant reason.
Seeing the last human colony Zion adds nothing - in fact seeing where the enlightened humans have to live may make you wonder why they didn't take the other pill. It all detracts from the original story and becomes very Star Warsy with senators and space docking bays.
The dialogue has been dumbed down big-time ("Is this bad for us?"/"There are explosives on every level."/"This is bad for us") ("Me, me, me"/"Me too") and when The Architecht appears in the end with fully-formed scentences with multi-syllable words, it seems completely inconsistant with the rest of the filum.
Good bit: Malcolm Kennard (of E Street and Secrets)!!!
Bad bit: Bullet in Malcolm Kennard's head.
Good bit: Leigh Whannell (of Recovery and In Entertainment)
Bad bit: Just as soon as you become attached - he's in bits.

Wow, I turned into a sci-fi nerd for the day! Yay!

Hey, kids! I'm back! And so is Rove!

A really odd thing has happened. I may have been the only one who has noticed, but since Rove won the Gold, a funny thing has happened - the funny has returned. Not only does he seem to be in a good mood again, but he's started doing fun skits with Corinne and Pete in the show. It's almost like he reads this site (which I somehow doubt). Sadly, he's still persisting with Funny Fotos - oops, I mean What The ...?. Still, there's time.
I have probably been too hard on him in the past. You know, he's been through a lot of personal stress and there's no point pretending that wouldn't effect his work demenour. But, as regular readers know, I've always said he is a very funny man and I couldn't be happier that the funny has risen to the surface again.
Bless you Mr Mc.