'80s Day: Wham! Week

Crystal has started Wham! Week, the bestest week since Ashton & Dummy Week, frankly.
Yesterday I said Duran Duran were the bestest band ever, and I promise I didn't mean this to be a slight against Wham! In fact it would be hard for me to really choose life, I mean, choose one over the other, because I have always loved Wham! and I have never appologised for this. My "Super Sound Cassette" (exactly the same as a normal cassette except it says "Super Sound Cassette" in big letters on the front, because Epic thought this would impress people) of "Make It Big" is pretty much on it's last legs.
So here is:

My Wham! Top 10 for today
1. "Bad Boys": I have the single of this - but it's one of those dodgy sleeves without a picture that just says "Epic" in the corner. Anyhow, I have always loved this song because it's about rebelling against your parents, which is only truly a cool thing to sing about before you are rebelling against your parents, because by then you don't really even want to acknowledge them. And yet George and Andrew were 20. And Nerds. Also, this song provides the best fun in Wham! In China when karate experts perform a routine to it. Plus, it has lots of high-pitched bits in it. However, the video is quite crap and is set in the olden days and has a little kid who is supposed be George but is rather-very-not-Greek and neither are his parents. Rudely George left it off the Best Of Wham! video. Bastard. (I do have it on a tape of Countdown, luckily).
2. "I'm Your Man": This song is awesome. How could you not love it? George loved it so much he re-recorded it (as "I'm Your Man '97") and made a bizarre mix of "Fast Love" that turned into "I'm Your Man", which was fun. But unnnecisarry.
3. "Wham Rap! (Enjoy What You Do?)": I feel like I have spent at least a quarter of my life reciting this rap. Which, of course, is because I have. There are two versions of this song, that have different raps. The one in the video is different to the one on the single and album, just to confuse everybody. And he says "shit" in it. Ooh-err ruuuude!
4. "Credit Card Baby": Even if this song is a variation on "Freedom", and, yes, quite daggy, when I was 6 I loved this song A LOT and I still do. I used to listen to it again and again and again. I am listening to it now, in fact. What a gem.
5. "Edge Of Heaven": When you're a kiddie, singing "There's a place for us in a dirty movie/'cos no-one does it better than me and you" is about as naughty as you can get. Then George re-set the bar with "I Want Your Sex", but not to worry. I love this song, and I was finding it hard to decide whether to choose this or "Battlestations" in my Top 10. George doesn't like "Battlestations" because he said it sounded like he was trying too hard. WHATever. The video for this song isn't very good. It's just exactly like the "I'm Your Man" and "Everything She Wants" video. Pretty much after "Wake Me Up" and "Club Tropicana" they stopped trying.
6. "If You Were There": Any song that tries to make sharing "a rusty can of corn" romantic is okay with me. Except that I don't like corn. Not to worry.
7. "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go": This is one of those song that suffers from the fact that I loved it a little too much and made myself get sick of it. But in actual fact it is an awesome song, and you turn it up whenever you accidentally listen to MIX and it comes on. *cough*
8. "Blue": This song is the only ever proper Wham! b-side (to "Young Guns (Go For It)", btw). The others were all instrumentals and 'dub' versions, which sound indentical to the real version, and versions where George has changed three words of the song. At the time these all seemed like a rip-off. But now, of course, I pay top dollar for slightly altered versions, and in the days of bootlegs, instrumentals seem like gifts from God. How times change. Anyhow, the version that appears on "The Final" record (but not the CD) has barely any words, unlike the "Live In China" version from their US-only album "Music From The Edge Of Heaven". Which you can get on CD.
9. "Last Christmas": One day George said to himself, "we should have a Christmas record like pop groups used to" and they did. And it was good. And Andrew was funny in the video. Because that's what he did.
10. "Freedom": The real version, before that "90" one.

Special Mention: Aside from "Battlestations", I must also mention the skit at the end of "Fantastic" (and recycled on the end of "If You Were There: The Best of Wham!" - bonus!), which has a piano being played, and then they punch the piano player and then he plays slow ... hey, if you know it, you know it, if you don't, you'll think I'm insane.

'80s day
I am so excited ... 80s Here & Now is coming to Australia in November! The 80s music "festival" which has been happening in the UK for ages is coming, and they're bringing: Human League! Kim Wilde! Paul Young! Belinda Carlisle! and Go West! And from Australia: 1927! ... and Mondo Rock (why?).

This will be truly awesome, but I want these additions made to the bill:
* Mondo Rock to be replaced by the far superior Pat Wilson
* Collette, Kids In The Kitchen, Wa Wa Nee, Psuedo Echo and Uncanny X-Men
* Nik Kershaw, Rick Astley, and Culture Club
* One word: JASONDONOVAN!

"I've been surprised at how successful it is," Kim Wilde said in an exclusive interview with somebody else. "The response from the audiences [in the UK and Europe] has been so warm it's almost better than when I was in my heyday. It was worth waiting for. It's about performing the biggest hits, and it's tailor-made for the territory we're going to. So it will be the songs which were the most popular in Australia." Tickets go on sale on Friday, August 8. But I will be pretending I can get free tickets and wait suitably longer to buy them and probably miss out. (This is not a recommended plan of attack)

Sorry!
It's been ages since I last posted. I've been so busy.
PS: Lisa, I hope you're feeling better. I know I'm not.

DD in Vegas

Proving Duran Duran are the bestest band ever in the world, their recent show in Las Vegas, was packed with a who's whom of .... people. These included Ashton, Dummy and Bruce (who knows what's going on in their bizarre three way?), Macy Grey, Jimmy Fallon, Adrien Brody, Orlando Jones, Rosario Dawson, Sarah Wynter, Michael Rosenbaum and Tom Green (ugh). And Matt Sorum (remember him, g'n'r folks?).

House Of Neverland
Michael Jackson is launching his own clothing label. Because I know that on the odd occasion I have been able to look away from his freakish head, I've thought, "My God, where can I get a glittery black jacket with a giant golden Neverland coat-of-arms, and fun chains hanging off it just for fun. Oh! And those leggings and scary codpiece! And PLEASE get me some of those bizarre silver boots!"
Of course, the label will only be available in Japan. Because they seem to buy anything, don't they?
According to a spokesperson for the label; “There is a growing popularity among young men in Japan for dark suits. Jackson, who has a huge following here, fits that rising fashion image.”
What?

That's just Dandy!
The Dandy Warhols, who rule, are boozers from way back. A squizz at the rider for their next tour proves this:

Monday: Jack Daniels, soda and lemon.
Tuesday: Gin and tonic and lime.
Wednesday: Baileys and milk.
Thursday: Vodka and cranberry, bloody Mary.
Friday: Mojito, pina colada, rum.
Saturday: Margaritas.

You are home.

Scott Idol

I am addicted to Australian Idol already, and it hasn't even started.
My only problems are that James Moronson is hosting - he's just too stupid for words - and Ian Dickheadson is a judge. Who is he? I don't really know, other than he's a wanker and employs several people I know. And takes credit for the careers of Usher, Avril, Pink, Natalie and Foo Fighters. *cough*
He's supposed to be the "mean" one, but it would be much better if it was backed up by actual cred - at least if Mark Holden is mean, I know that he sang "I Wanna Make You My Lady" and "Never Gonna Fall In Love Again", wrote "99 reasons" for Jo-Beth 'Crack Whore' Taylor, and produced David Hasslehoff, Mila Jovovich, Belinda Carlisle and Vanessa Amorosi's albums ...
And Marcia just rules. I wonder if they'll call her "Mar-see-a", like she used to insist upon, but everybody but Bert forgot.

Big Bogan
Thanks to all who voted Daniel out of the house.
While I am happy enough Reggie won (she isn't evil like Peter or Ben), I do wish Chrissie had.
And by the way, I feel very sorry for Reg's hubby Adrien. Reg - who is a complete victim and whinged for the entire series - made him look like a slave driver. But, honestly, look at her complaints; "I have to work in the shop all day cooking fiiish and chi-iips". Um, yeah so does he. "I live in Tamania". Maybe you could blame your parents for that one - or shut the Hell up and move.
And she has no answers. "I said 'I'm sick of the shop', and he said 'what do you want to do?' and I said 'move to the mainland' and he said, 'and do what?' and I said nuthin' so he extended the lease." Well, derrrr. Do you think he likes frying potatoes any more than you do?
Meanwhile, she announces "I'm moving to Sydney for 6 months" or "I'm going on Big Brother", and who's back making the money for her Joico-Kerapro? Muggins, of course.
Plus, despite the other housemates thinking she was just poor (poor and thick-as-pig-shit don't actually corelate), she is actually quite wealthy. Certainly more so than Daniel-who-works-at-Timezone.
Furthermore, she only wants to go back to the shop because her life has suddenly become insane and she's craving normality. Did you see her doing TV interviews? She couldn't even speak. She hardly screams media career, does she? What's she going to do? Dig holes on Ground Force?

The Mole
The Mole is back (is this reality week?). It is much more fun than The Block. There is a group of 10 people who compete for prize money, and there is a secret person who is rigging their tasks so it all goes wrong! At the end of the series they have an ep where they show the things the mole did - and they're really stupid. It's like, "on the hike, John stopped to do up his shoe lace twice" and the others are like "I should have known!!!" It's so very bad, it's good.

It's time to go ... David Gest


I'm sure you're as shocked as me that the marriage of Liza Minelli and David Gest has fallen apart.
It's hard to say just why this was.
Was it:
a) Because he was gay;
b) Because she was a raving drugged-out looney;
c) Because they invited Mel C to the wedding, or;
d) All of the above.
Answer on the back of a postcard, please.