Ashton Kutcher and Dummy Moore Week: Day 6

Who would have thought this week would be a success? Who would have thought people would actually e-mail me about it? Who would have thought I'd actually post every day?
Not me!

When ASHTONs Attack!!!
Today's story - yet again about Ashton - is my favourite. When he was in Australia to promote Dude, Where's My Car? my friend and I went bowling with him (long story) and we got a picture with him. When we were posing for the pic, he leant over to her like he was going to kiss her on the cheek, but then he BIT her on the cheek - really hard. In fact, so hard that she had red bite marks the next day!
And that's when I decided he was an idiot.
Oh, that and when I spoke to him.

New Kids - THE MOVIE!

I was/am a giant fan of New Kids On The Block. When I was 10, they were always promising to do a movie, and they never did (though they did do an awesome Disney special, and there was their cartoon series).
Now, however, Joey Joe McIntyre has decided to produced a feature film about their lives as the bestest damned boyband ever (and yes Beatles I was including you in that). Slightly disturbingly, Freddie Prinze Jr is tipped to be playing Jordan Knight (surely this can't happen), but good ol' Donnie Wahlberg says he is the only person who can play himself. Well, while I like this idea, Donnie may need to look in the mirror and watch the "Cover Girl" video a few times ... you know, when he was thin and had hair?
Personally, I'm tipping Mr Ed for the role of Danny Wood.
Bare in mind, ploise, that this story was from The Sun, and so they may have made up large portions of it. Well, hopefully only the part about Freddie.

Song Of The Day
"Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne
For such a crazy old man, and so-called "Prince Of Darkness", Ozzy sure does write some nice songs. At least, in sentiment. Oh Ozzy, one loves thee.

Ashton Kutcher and Dummy Moore Week: Day 5

When Aston went out with his Just Married co-star Brittany Murphy, for about 5 seconds, I liked him again. Despite the fact that they appeared to both be drug-riddled, they were lots of fun (and that fire in their bedroom was not started by a crack pipe ... at all ... it was candles, OKAY?). And I did like that filum, too. It was fun.

Thought For The Day
When downing today's umpteenth slice of Pepperoni Lovers, don't forget to remember Katharine Hepburn and her contribution to cinema.

Song Of The Day
"I Know There's Something Going On" by Frida
When ABBA fizzled, Frida teamed up with Phil Collins and the hits kept-a-flowin'. Well, one hit. And it was good!

Ashton Kutcher and Dummy Moore Week: Day 4
Dummy Moore: A Life In Celluloid Without Cellulite (Thanks to lipo)

Worst Filum: The Butcher's Wife, in which she plays an angel (or is she?) who marries a butcher - and greatly increases sales of sausages. (Sigh. If only I was making this up.) This wasn't even one of those embarrassing movies she made when she was young and foolish. Oh no. It was the follow-up to Ghost.
Best Filum: About Last Night and St Elmo's Fire - when she was a Brat Packer - exo! She doesn't suck in these; and that's the most you can ask for in one of her filums. Plus, she was engaged to Emilio Estevez then. Yay!
Special Mention: Beavis & Butthead Do America. She was only a voice in this one (along with then-hubby Bruce Willis), but I do heart Beavis and Butthead.
Ghost: This movie doesn't exactly stand the test of time very well (hello, somebody get some CGI - stat!), but one thing that has always been bad is Demi's wooden phoned-in performance. I mean, Patrick Swayze came back from the dead for her? Even with that hair cut? Really?

Katharine Hepburn
I wasn't going to mention the passing of Katharine Hepburn, but not because I didn't think she was awesome. But I changed my mind.
Desk Set is one of my all-time favourite movies - and old movies are usually really boring (especially if Humphery Bogart is in it. Zzzzz. PS: He couldn't act - at all!).
Plus, Michael Jackson was obsessed with her and she told him to "fuck off!" Bless her.
And when Phil Donohue interviewed her about her autobiography, she wouldn't sign it for him unless he paid for his copy. Ha!
In her honour, tomorrow is Katharine Hepburn Memorial Pizza Hut All-You-Can-Eat-A-Thon. She would have wanted it this way.

Taj-tastic!

The brilliant Taj off Neighbours is now posting on Crystal's House Of Chicanery.
Or is he?

Song Of The Day

"Skin Trade" by Duran Duran
Somebody has already told me today that they don't know this song - well do yourself a favour, it's da bomb!

Ashton Kutcher and Dummy Moore Week: Day 3
I actually know somebody who has slept with Ashton. This only occured to me when I was half asleep and wondering how on Earth I was going to think of 7 stories about him (don't worry, I have at least one more).
It was actually quite funny because she announced that was her plan at the start of the evening ... it must have worked. Ha.
I have no dirt on this episode at all, unfortunately.
But do you know the person I'm talking about?
Most probably.

Yay for Delta!

After debuting at #2, Delta is finally #1 with "Innocent Eyes". The single, that is. Oh, and the album of the same name is too! Hoorah!
So happy am I, in fact, that I have gone all-out and all-crazy and updated Cheese Chartbusters! Go there, or be not very cool at all!

Ashton Kutcher and Dummy Moore Week: Day 2
This week, to celebrate the tawdry cradle-snatching love affair that is that of the two above mentioned 'stars', I will tell a story about them every day I post (so look forward to at least one more).
I have never met Dummy, but I have met Ashton. In fact, I drank Vodka Cruisers with him. Or, at least, next to him. They were the blue ones. And so our story begins ...
When Scott Met Ashton, episode one
Ashton: Dude, your mouth is all blue!
Me: So is yours.
Ashton: It must be the drink.
(Derrrrrrr!!!)
Me: Sweet, what does mine say?
Aston: ......
To Be Continued

Cheese Bag

[She forgot to write 'Dear Captain' here]
you know I was coming across this site, because Google has illinformed me that it had something about Shaun Micallef (I LOVE HIM) ... but it's actually quite good, informative, and i can't believe you watch Home and Away and Neighbours ... really Scott ... why. so don't think that no one is reading this because it's pretty good, and prolly more people then you think are randomly clicking and ending up here (which isn't half bad)
Susan

Dear Susan,
Thanks for your ... words. Actually, ages ago I did write about Shaun. He is tops. If you look in my archives I'm sure you will find a few stories on him. Good luck with that.
Also, why do I watch Home and Away and Neighbours? Because they are the bestest shows ever, that's why, ploise. (It must be very sad to go day after day without a dose of Harold Bishop or Alf Stewart, mustn't it more-enlightened readers?)
By the way, when I say nobody reads my site, it is actually my vain attempt to seem modest. In reality I know literally millions of people read this site. *cough*
Scott xo

Song Of The Day
"Some People" by Cliff Richard
Dear Cliff, you are so very cool, and as cool as "Wired For Sound" and "We Don't Talk Anymore" are, this is your acest ever song.

Mercury 4

For those of you who have never heard Australia's newest boyband's song or seen the video, but just keep reading about them all the time, I unselfishly sought it out and watched it.
In summary: If Blue moved to Summer Bay, they would be Mercury 4.
Also: Cole is the ugly one. He is also the one who can sing. Figures.
Fact!: On their website, under "most embarrassing moment", Rien doesn't list "when I saw how my parents spelt my name". (It is, in fact, "Having my towel ripped off me at Year 7 camp while walking back from the shower".)
PS: I secretly don't hate Blue.

Big Boobs for Big Brother

After the UK and South African houses swapped housemates recently, they've decided to do the same here. We get the UK's Anouska Golebiewski, who was widely hated in her homeland for being loud and obnoxious. Excellent!
"I'm going to cause so much trouble. This time round I will be more outrageous than ever," the 20-year-old vixen told News Of The World. "I'll get the whole of Australia talking about me. I don't care if it's positive or negative. I'm going to get in there and flirt for all I'm worth. They're bound to have a pool and even though it may be winter there I will be in the water in my bikini from Day One. I'm not shy about my body."
Yay! So just like Jo, except more English and ... ahem ... everything that implies. But she also appears to want to be the new Ben.
"The real thing I'm dying to do is make someone cry," she says. "I'm gunning for a fight. I'd love to have a real stand-off row, get some real emotions going and really give the viewers something to watch. I think I'll do something evil with the girls. If they're all lusting after one man, maybe I could just step in there and flirt like crazy so the girls all start to hate me!"
I think she'll be in a bit of a shock when she walks in to see the most boring bunch of tosspots she's ever met. Oh, and ugly.
Unforch, Anouska says she won't be doing it in the house because she suddenly has a boyfriend since leaving the UK house. Damn, it was about the only thing that could have made Vincent interesting.
Meanwhile, who will the UK get? Word is it's our original evictee Irena. This is too bad. They should have sent Carlo, just to cement our reputation as a classy nation. I actually liked Irena a lot, until she went mental ... after about three days.

Ashton Kutcher is a mother humpin' cat killer!
... plus, he's totally doin' Demi.

Here they are at his restaurant as she gives him a lap dance at his restaraunt. Which I forget the name of but starts with an M. And it's not Madre, because that's J-Ho's house ... it may be Dolce. Oh, yeah it is. Which starts with a D, but sounds like Madre. A bit.

I hated Demi for about 10 years until I saw About Last Night again a few months ago (see panel on the right that I can't change because Mr Blog hates me). Then I remembered ALL of her other movies. Now I'm just not sure.
Either way this week is Ashton Kutcher and Dummy Moore Week.
I will have more exciting stories as the week goes on.
Well, at least one. Maybe two.

BOOOO!
Sir Bob is releasing the dire "Me and My Monkey" as a single. This sucks - even if he does have a chimp in the vid - as it is the worst song he has ever unleashed on his otherwise loving public.

Star Whores
That would be me, probably.
Anyhow, the folk from Star Wars are in town for filming of Episode III, and word is George, Hayden and Natalie are staying at the W in Woolloomooloo. Well, I went there on a booze session the other night and didn't see them anywhere.
However, somebody who knows Bron saw Natalie at the video store in Potts Point. She had a $2 fine. The video dude made her pay, but suddenly regretted it when she'd left, apparently lamenting the fact he'd "blown [his] chance". Ha. Yeah right.
Peter "Chewbacca" Mayhew is here to. I once met him. Well, to be more accurate I stood next to him for a prolonged period of time, and he looked so unwell I was afraid to speak to him in case he died.

Cheese Bag

Dear "Scott",
QUOTE:
"This ridiculous site has actual recipes for cheese and links to sites about actual cheese. Clearly these people have no thought for the lactose intolorant amongst us (of which I am one)."
END QUOTE
Interesting. I have seen you scoff almost an entire cheese and pepperoni pizza, is that not the equivalent of an entire block of cheese? Interesting. I also know that you threatened to eat pizza (with cheese no doubt) again on July 8 for the 90210 reunion.
Yours,
Nik Kershaw

Dear Nik,
I wish you would stop stalking me. I also wish you would stop going on about the time I accompanied you on your "Triumphant Return" tour of Mongolia in the late '90s. I mean, it was all fun when you were singing "Wouldn't It Be Good" and "I Won't Let The Sun Go Down I Me", but backstage you were a real bitch. I mean, yes, the fans may have wanted you to have giant hair, but how would you like the ozone layer to pay for that? I had no choice but to hide all of your hairspray. And YES, I love pizza and eat it like nobody's business, but that doesn't mean I am not lactose intolorant and in denial. As you will recall from travelling in the tour bus.
Yours,
Scott
PS: 90210 rules!